106% of female college students will be sexually harassed this year, says new feminist study. Much of the harassment will occur at frat parties, but many women will be victimized while running to their midterms.

“Greek row is probably the most dangerous place to be a woman today,” said college student and self-identified feminist Hannah Moore. “It’s like House of a Thousand Corpses anytime sorority girls want to tailgate outside a fraternity.”

Feminists across the country are reporting an alarming rise in the number of girls who feel offended on college campuses. Much of this rise can be attributed to the increasingly low threshold used to identify inappropriate sexual behavior. The definition of “rape” and “sexual harassment” have been expanded to include instances where third wave feminists feel “that icky feeling.”

An article on the activist website Everyday Feminism noted that sexual harassment includes often overlooked offenses such as “Saying ‘God Bless You'” and giving women compliments.

When a man interacts with her on any level she did not invite, it’s threatening, period. You can’t change that just by saying someone is being “nice.” Just because a man isn’t overtly saying “I want to f*ck you in the *ss and c*me in your hair, b*tch,” it doesn’t nullify the threat a woman feels. –Kat George, “6 Things You Might Not Think Are Harrassment…

Human Rights Organization have long reported that sexual assault and domestic violence are serious issues facing men and women globally. Underfunded NGOs are combatting urgent problems like the 8,000 annual Dowry killings in India and rampant child sexual abuse in Afghanistan. American feminists, however, have chosen to devote their resources to the psychological toll of cat calling and unprovoked eye contact.

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To raise awareness of the number of girls who feel offended, “slut walks” have been organized on college campuses across the country. Feminists at one slut walk wore t-back thongs and painted the words “rape” and “whore” on their bodies to promote female empowerment.

“Whether it’s getting raped through Facebook or being told you look ‘tired’ by some guy in your first period class, sexual violence is widespread at every university campus,” said a speaker at a recent slut walk. “The sad thing is, most men think it’s perfectly fine to initiate a conversation with a feminist without written permission beforehand.”

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Rational thought of the day: Modern feminists have cheapened the words “rape” and “sexual harassment” by using both terms frequently in their war against feeling offended. The first battered women’s shelter was opened by Erin Pizzey, a staunch anti-feminist who described feminism as a terrorist organization. She was subject to frequent death threats for advocating for the rights of both genders.

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