In a bid to fight climate change, a wealthy liberal family has vowed to use 100% recycled seat covers on their private jet. The family also plans to use ethanol based fuels on the two year old, 49-foot Learjet 31 when they become available.

Anne Thompson says that her family is working hard to reduce their carbon footprint by 20% over the next five years. “The children and I have been using the law of attraction to visualize a healthier, cleaner world where everyone is safe,” she told reporters. “When we set our intention with the universe and practice daily gratitude, the whole world benefits.”

A self-identified Facebook activist who posts more than five political memes a day, Anne says that her family now only shops at Whole Foods and chooses non-GMO produce over the alternative. “We are doing our part to help the world, yet we still see people shopping at environmentally destructive stores like CVS and Hot Topic. I have to wonder if the average American is intentionally ignoring what Katy Perry and Alec Baldwin have said about stream pollution.”

Screen Shot 2017-04-19 at 7.37.39 AM

The threat of climate change has polarized people across the country, with reactions ranging from ambivalence on the right to terror on the left. Some critics have argued that the technology necessary to reduce carbon emissions is prohibitively expensive and presently only accessible to the wealthy. The Thompsons, however, believe that people from all socioeconomic statuses should work together to negate the impact of climate change.

“People need to realize that if we don’t stop global warming now, there will be no Aspen or St. Martin in fifty years,” Anne warned. “People act like the rich don’t care, but my daughter just spent a whole day reading books to inner-city black children, and it wasn’t just because of her DUI last summer.”