DALLAS  – A team of researchers in Texas announced that they have discovered the nine thousandth gender, putting to rest the right wing notion that humans are a dimorphic species. Scientists currently estimate that there are between ten thousand and one million unique genders, and possibly many more.

Dr. Monica Crawley, who lead the study, describes the search for new genders as the “most important use of government funds in 2017.” Variables her team analyzes to identify novel genders include color schemes, use of hats, accessories and hair styles.

“There is this bizarre belief that gender is something besides what people say it is,” the doctor told a reporter. “Gender is not something you determine in a laboratory, gender is something you chose at the Goodwill.”

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Gender AKF0792, the nine thousandth known gender, was characterized as “flirty yet serious” by a researcher on the project. It is described as female dominant, with a propensity for wearing jean shorts, shoulder length hair, light makeup and having an “awkward lesbian sense of humor.” The gender has balancing male attributes as well, including facial hair and the ability to give accurate directions.

Due to her research, Dr. Crawley has recommended that social media website Facebook practice gender inclusion by expanding beyond the mere 71 gender categories currently available. She recommends a system where members can chose their gender by using four drop-down menus which terminate in a keyword search function for quick selection. Crawley also suggests that the gender choices be tolerant of multi-gendered users by including optional secondary and tertiary gender categories that can be selected using the same menu / keyword search function.

Critics argue that the expanding concept of gender identity is being used by some progressives to impute the existence of biological sex, a trait which is far less open to interpretation. Opponents of the “infinite gender” perspective have pointed out that promoting the acceptance of transgender people can be done effectively without denigrating biological realities. People are free to identify however they want, they say, but we should never veer away from scientific objectivity.

Dr. Crawley says that she will continue to conduct her research in-spite of the sporadic criticism. “People that attack our work are very hateful,” she said. “I suspect they may be part of a yet undiscovered gender.”

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